Regression

Regression is a theme in our house this week.

1. Dobby has had 3 accidents in 2 days -- after no accidents in 6 months!

2. We are packing again -- does that count? It feels like we are regressing as we go through old already-packed boxes and start packing all over again. (What does NOT feel like regression is the exhilarating feeling of 4 loaded-down-car trips to Goodwill, with more to come)

3. Sadly, I have regressed. This has been a tough, tough week for our family. A few weeks ago, I was in pain again. It came on suddenly and would get better and worse and then just worse. Yesterday we had it confirmed that the cancer is back with several new tumors in the abdomenal area (retriperitoneal (sp) and peritoneal cavities for anyone that gets that). We are looking for a good oncological surgeon who knows what he is doing in this arena and then I want to go back to my oncologist in AZ. We are figuring all of that out for now. The good news in all of this (if there can be any good news) is that none of the tumors are in organs. We are hoping they are all operable, although it will be an extremely invasive and painful surgery. I do not look forward to more of the drugs. I was NOT a good druggie last summer!

I am a fighter; not a quitter. And I know the Lord is ever-mindful of our family. I am so thankful for all the prayers, fasting, support, encouragment, blessings, watching of kids for appointments at the last minute, dinners, etc. We didn't want Rick to get laid off, but I am so grateful that he has been here the last few days. He has been a rock for me. We have cried together and talked about things that he has been scared to talk about before. We have been surrounded by angels on both sides of the veil the last few days.

So... one more way of regression: I guess I am back to posting about more than just normal life and mom-stuff. I hate blogging about cancer! *sigh*

here are some words to a song that has always resonated for me. I only know this song by this musician. It isn't her voice, or just the words, there is just "something" about it:
Des'ree

Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
My oh my heh, hey, hey

You gotta be
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold
You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard
You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm
You gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day


And all I know is that love is saving my days. The love of my extended family, the love of friends, the love of my kids, the love of my husband, and the love of my Savior and Heavenly Father.

14 And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.

15 And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.

Now, I do know that the Lord is strengthening me and my family, but I need to learn to be more cheerful about it AND more patient! Cheerfulness might save all the make-up I have gone through in the past 2 days. :)