I have Googled "Christmas letters", "Creative Christmas letters", "Cute Christmas letters", and have been sitting at my computer for 2 hours just trying to get something written. Here is my dilemma:
1. In all our craziness last fall, I never sent out Christmas cards. So, the people who only hear from me once a year through cards don't know about my struggle with cancer (because I refused to put it in any of the previous years' cards since it sounds so depressing), losing my leg, us moving, all of our life's happenings, etc.
2. The people who are close to me, vicinity-wise and emotionally, already know what is going on, so putting it in a card this year is just redundant for them. Blah, blah, blah. And I don't believe in sending out different cards for different people. They are all the same, they go in the envelope and they get addressed and go.......
3. We have moved, so if I don't send cards, I won't get any. ;) And I really, really like getting them. Our mail forwarding from our old address has now expired and I would like to see how my old friends are doing.
So if I decide to be redundant, I am sorry to all of you out there. If I am not redundant, well, I guess, the people who don't hear from me won't know. And, if I can't decide, well, maybe Christmas letters will be a tradition I discontinue (but I am so old-fashioned, I can't see that happening for too many years).
I feel like I have been so blessed, I should take every opportunity to share that with others-maybe especially those who only hear from me once each year. At the same time, I am trying so hard to not make myself crazy this year. Usually, by Christmas Day, I am worn out from all I am trying to accomplish. I wanted this year to be more relaxing (maybe because I am realistic about how I feel after doing chemo). I wanted to just snuggle with my kids, make cookies with them, read the stories, sing the songs, and speak of the Savior and why He is the Greatest Gift of all.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
I want to be in love with the place I live. Everywhere we have lived I have tried to find something about that place that makes it the best at that moment. Yet, doing that in this move to Arizona has been tough for me. I told myself over and over in the summer "You can be happy anywhere" and, while I knew that is true, it seemed like I was also hearing "blah blah blah" behind that thought. I was happy, I am happy, I just wanted to feel like this is home - a place I could happily stay as we don't want to keep moving, especially as our kids get older.
I will always miss the Hill Country of Texas. I will always think a little longingly of the beauty of the place and the people I miss and just the "Texas"-ness of it all. It is an amazing place and one that will always hold a piece of my heart.
I don't know exactly what changed (or when) in my heart, but I have come to know that I have found a place to "put my home." I think, for me, home has become a state of being more than a location on a map. As long as I am seeing my kids grow and thrive, as long as I can serve, as long as I am around people I love, I can be "home." My kids are happy and thriving, there are always opportunities to serve and we can find love where ever we choose. So here I am. And, truly there is no place like home.